środa, 9 marca 2011

Never too late for good ride Part 1 - Fanfic

Sorry for my English. Mostly this fan fic is a dialog or monolog.


 Never too late for good ride 
Part 1

Jonia was sitting at her kitchen table and eating very late dinner. Was almost 11 p.m. What an exhausted day. Girls at work middle-aged Maria and Betty (who treat Jonia like their another child) were very nervous today. Some women problems as Betty said.
Then aloud noise of door bell and knocking breaks evening’s silence
‘Probably Miss Peabody - old lady next door – has problems with her dog again.
Jonia opened the door and screamed. Two masked robbers were standing a front of her.
‘HUSH!!!...Its us!’
‘Maria!!!....Betty!!!’ – Jonia was shocked.
They in few seconds were inside, drawing third person with a cloth bag on head.
‘Who is this!?’ – Jonia asked.
‘We don’t know’ – answered Maria probably.
‘How You don’t know?!!’ - Jonia was a little nervous.
‘We were inside and then he just came in to the ATM … and we panicked…’
‘Came inside WHERE?!’
‘He is heavy. Can we leave him somewhere?” – that was probably Betty.
‘Just leave him on the sofa’ – answered Jonia.
‘Maybe in bed will be better’ – said Maria.
‘Why in bed?!’ – Jonia almost screamed – ‘I have only one bed!...My bed!!!’
‘Because we have to bind him”
‘Of course to my bed?’ – this question was without answer, because girls were in Jonia’s bedroom already. Jonia was watching like girls binding this poor man to her bed.
‘Now I need some answers’ – Jonia said slowly – ‘Inside where you both were?’
‘Inside bank’
‘BANK?!!!???’
‘Yeah….we wanted robber ATM machine at bank’ – said Maria.
Jonia was standing and staring at two masked faces.
‘And we were already inside this machine and…and… then this man came in …and we were in panic..and I hit him in head’ – answered Maria – ‘ and …and we took him and we are here’
This took a while when Jonia was able to speak.
‘You are the worst robbers I’ve ever known. Well I know only you both, but You are the worst….When You are robbing bank and hit somebody, you should take money, not this man!!!’ – Jonia was talking louder and louder.
‘We know! We know, but we panicked!!!’
‘What kind of literature You reading, that You don’t know this basic rule?’
‘You know that I love Agatha Christie’ – said Betty.
‘Thanks that You not poisoned him!...and now what?’ – asked Jonia.
‘He have to be here for couple hours’
‘HERE???!!!’
‘Yes, we need to wait to 2 a.m. and then we just have to leave him in some lonely place’
‘Why to 2 a.m.???...Why You can’t leave him now?!’
‘We should be at home now’ – said Maria.
‘Why you just don’t take him to your houses?’
‘My husband is waiting for me and mother –in law visiting me now’ – answered Betty.
‘Yeah’ – said Maria – ‘I have 3 kids and dog’
‘And I have a cat!’ – said Jonia.
‘You don’t have a cat’ – Maria was sure.
‘But I could have!.. Maybe I bought him today…kitty!! kitty!!!.. I called him Mr Uranus…and he really doesn’t like strangers!!!’
‘You don’t have a cat!’- This time Betty was sure.
Jonia looked at man in her bed – ‘Is he still alive? You didn’t hit him to hard?’
Betty checked – ‘Yes. He is still breathing’
‘Take this’ – said Maria and gave Jonia mask.
‘What for?’
‘He shouldn’t see You’
‘Oh, thanks for looking after me NOW!’
‘We’ll be here at 2 a.m.’ – said Maria walking to the front door.
‘One more question.. What I have to do with this man for three hours?’
‘Just have fun’ – said Betty.
‘And close the door’ – added Maria.

Jonia was standing for a while at front of closed door. ‘ And now…what?... Have fun…How long you can be in jail for co-operation in robbery.. and taking hostage?.... Ten years?.... WHAT A MESS!!!!’
She returned to bedroom and curtained window. She put mask on and looked at this man. “hmm…. Nice long legs… thanks that girls bound him to bed… no chance in frontal confrontation… they probably should hit him again at 2 a.m. … big dude….’
He moved. Jonia shouted and froze and was looking at him with scared eyes. He heaved a sigh with pain.
‘Maria has stone hand’ – thought Jonia. - ‘Hey…dude?.. are You ok?’
He heaved a sigh again and asked with deep voice – ‘Where am I?’
‘Don’t worry dude….We don’t want hurt you. Just stay still…em…. I mean lay still’
‘My head hurts and I feel sick’ – he said.
‘Oh…. Sorry for that.. You was hit in your head’ – What if he has a concussion of the brain.. Not good. He should be in hospital.
‘Dude.. I’m just checking your head…so stay…. I mean lay still’ – Jonia approached slowly and delicate took cloth bag from his head and than loud knocking scared her again.

‘O God who is now!?..Think Jonia! What You have to do!?’
She looked at man in her bed…..’WOW!!! WHAT A…… HEY there is no time for that!!!!’ – Jonia’s inside voice was …..very thiny at the end…..’Thanks that I have this mask on! – she was thinking.
‘Dude if You will scream or tell what You are doing here I WILL….”
‘You will what!?’ – oh that wasn’t nice, his voice was very nasty, his eyes very dark.
‘You don’t get dessert!’
Now his eyebrows were almost in half of his forehead.
‘And what is on dessert?’
‘Apple pie with whipped cream!’ – Yeah! The best way to pacify man is offering him some food!
‘Ok….deal!’ – he said with big smile on his face.
Jonia looked again…’sigh’ and walked to open the door.
“Honey! What are You doing in this mask?’ – Miss Peabody was as always in her dressing gown and rollers. Jonia took mask quick off and said – ‘Just having fun!’
‘I was hearing some screams here’ – And Miss P. was already in Jonia’s flat…kitchen, living-room and BEDROOM!!!!!!!!
‘Oh….Why You don’t tell me that You have a boyfriend? He is very handsome’ Miss P. was looking and looking
‘Hello’ – WOW!!!..how man can speak with so deep voice.
Jonia put her mask on and returned to bedroom.
‘I’m so happy for You honey, I was thinking that You faster will buy a cat. You know that my Amor hate cats…Amor is my dog’ - She said it directly to Handsome One – ‘Oh I see that I interrupting some …..situation here’ – Miss P. was very polite as always. Jonia was wondering if she isn’t from some aristocratic family. – ‘Can I ask for some not so noisy behavior here?’
‘Of course Miss Peabody’ – said Jonia nodding and walking with Miss P. to front door.
‘Oh..Honey...I like Your mask now very much’
‘Good Night Miss Peabody’
Jonia returned to bedroom.
‘Now You have to bring me dessert, I was very good boy.’
‘I bring You nothing, You don’t feel well’
‘I feel very good. Now bring this dessert’
‘It’s not Your dessert’
‘Mine’
‘Not Yours’
‘Mine’
‘Never Yours!’
‘Mine ALL mine!....You promised me it. …..I count to three…If I not get my dessert I will scream VERY loud….One….Two…TH.!
‘FINE!!!!!!!!! I BRING YOU THIS DESSERT!!!!!!!!! YOU CRUEL MAN!!!!’ – his loud laugh was with her in kitchen.
‘That wasn’t good idea…this is last piece of my apple pie’ – with full plate she stand a front of bed.
‘How can I eat this with binded hands?’
Hmmm….this is some kind of problem….
‘I will feed You’
‘Oh how nice’
Jonia was mumbling something like – ‘My last apple pie’, ‘cruel man’ etc. and was feeding this villain.
‘Why You are staring at me’ – she asked after some time.
‘You are not terrorist.’
‘How You can know this? Maybe I’m worst of them all.’
‘Terrorists don’t offer this kind of desserts.’
‘What they offer?’
‘Mostly some shock therapy or waterboarding.’
‘Are You thirsty?’
‘No, but I have to go to the bathroom’
‘NO. Everything, but no bathroom’
‘I will wet Your bed’
‘I’ll buy new one!’
‘Or I do something more’
‘So I’ll open the window and use Brise’
‘It doesn’t helps’
‘Maybe You just overestimate your power’
‘I’m not’
‘Yes You do’
‘I’m not’
‘Yes You do’
‘I’m not’
‘Yes You do’

……………….
After 5 minutes!
‘I’m not’
‘Yes You do’
‘I’m not’
‘Oh, STOP IT!!!’ – Jonia stand up – ‘Who is terrorist here?’
‘Hey!, I’m not finish my dessert!! There is one more piece!’
Jonia took rest of cake on a spoon to eat it herself…but she forgot about mask and whole cake was now on a mask and on the floor. The Handsome One started laughing very loud and jumping on the bed like a big snake.
‘Oh, SHUT UP!!!’ – Then Jonia had a brilliant idea – ‘Where is it….AH!!! KITCHEN!!!’ She took a piece of silver repair tape and sealed his lips.
‘Oh…what a beautiful silence….’ – she took a deep breath.
‘Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm’
‘What? I’m sorry, but I can’t hear You….Hmm…What about watching TV for a while?” – She switched TV on – ‘Hey! It’s “Vicar in White”’ – She sat on the chair - ‘You know…I really like this couple…They are both adorable…..And I really like this actor who is playing Harry….You know…You are looking a bit like him….but your hair is too short and You are a little bit skinny’.
He rolled his eyes up and started puffing.
‘What?!....Oh!!...I know!!!...You are just jealous!!!....green with envy that You are not like he is….the most….”
Than Jonia started hearing a strange noise.
‘What is that?’
‘MMMMMMMMMMMMM’
‘What???’
‘MMMMMMMMMMMMMMM”
‘Oh…sorry..’ – she took tape from his lips off.
‘OUCH!!!! THAT’S MY PHONE!!! And I really have to pick it UP!!!’
‘NO!’
‘YES!! Or I’ll be in big trouble and YOU TOO!!!’
Jonia was thinking and thinking, but nothing was in her mind..well only this that his eyes were very blue.
‘Ok…’ – she said quick as this was possible.
‘HEY!!!!..Where are You searching for it!!’ – His voice was really nervous.
‘In Your Jeans…What?.....’
‘My phone is in my jacket!!!’
‘Oh....’ – She delicate at this was possible took phone from his jacket, press the button and put phone to his ear.
‘…Speaking….We had a deal!....Half hour……………great!!!!!!!.....’ - He looked at Jonia with sinister eyes – ‘RING IT OFF!!! …Now You have to unbind me!’
‘No way…or my friends will be in trouble!’
‘You are already in trouble and I can made it worst!...What’s that?…check doors!’
Jonia looked at corridor from a peephole – ‘There are some men there…with some strange thing in hands’
‘They find me….My phone…switch power off’
Jonia did what he said.
‘Is there maybe second exit’ – He asked.
‘Yes in kitchen…fire stairs’
‘Now You really have to unbind me and help me run away…they are really bad guys’
‘Ok..I help You but You have to promised that my friends will be safe’
‘Don’t worry they are…You only have to help me…first unbind me!’
Jonia unbound him..first legs…than hands….and now she was lying in bed with her hands and legs binded…..this guy was really fast!!!!!!!!!!
‘WHAT ARE YOU DOING!??’ – Jonia was in shock.
He took her mask off.
‘I’m sorry, but I really have to do that honey…..What?...You are not happy?....”Vicar in White” is in TV now….You can watch on Your Harry all the time” – he ironized.
‘This is only one-hour program!!’
‘Well You can live in hope that will be something interesting after that…Now I really have to use this tape on You….’ – He sealed Jonia’s lips.
‘MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM’
‘I’m sorry honey but I can’t hear You’ – He kissed Jonia through the tape….That was worst than shock – ‘I’m sorry sweetheart, but we don’t have time for something more’ – He took a deep breath and just disappear!
“MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM MMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!”
End of part 1


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Chemical Brothers - Hold Tight London (Feat. Anna Lynne)
from Album Push the Button 2005

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2 komentarze:

alfie pisze...

ROFL:

I cant begin ti imagine where such a fanfic ( or is it adaydream:)) comes from, but It was very fun to read. Thanks for sharing.

Alfie

Ania pisze...

Very funny story *giggles*, I look forward to what will happen next

"... his eyes were very blue ..." hmmm I wonder who it could be ;-)

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